MARBLE-OUS

When anyone talks about kind, smart, energetic, engaged, beautiful people in town, one person I think of immediately is Donna Forcier, owner of Uptown Tile and Stone Gallery.

Donna is a blonde bolt of seriously positive energy running around town and Uptown Tile is the area’s go-to store for the most fabulous tile and stone. 

Looking at samples in the store makes me want to take a jackhammer to the renovation I did to my house four years ago and start over.  Ug. 

“We are like a bakery here,” said Donna.  “We get fresh selections every week – from traditional to modern.  Sometimes our inventory is more than half-off the prices of other stores.”

Donna has been serving up the best in the world of flooring, walling (is that a word?), backsplashes and whatever else can sit still long enough to slap a little Thinset on, for more than 20 years. 

She began her business in 1986, with her husband, creating and developing the flooring upgrade programs developers such as K. Hovnanian, Toll Brothers and Kara Homes offered customers. 

Thank you Donna for putting an end to horrifically generic four inch by four inch beige and white tile in new construction.  Amen.

Nothing about Asbury Park is builder’s-grade.  The properties here can’t be either. 

As Asbury Park grew over the years, so did Donna’s retail business.  In 2004, Donna, armed with a new personal vision, re-launched the store as Uptown Tile and Stone Gallery – creating a comfortable boutique environment, bathed in natural light, for homeowners to review flooring options in, while continuing to keep the construction-types happy too, with quick turnarounds on orders and innovative products.

“This is not work for me,” said Donna.  “I love helping homeowners and pulling ideas together.  The team here has more than fifty years combined experience so there is a huge satisfaction in guiding customers with their renovations.”

I never thought it was possible get excited about flooring until I walked around Donna’s store:  basketweave carrera and onyx, pillow-edged porcelain subway tile, limestone that’s smoother than butter in any size or shape, spa-like tumbled river stone, sleek stainless steel, elegant glass and marble hybrid and whatever else your imagination or aesthetic demands.  Recession-friendly pricing included. 

“Trends in tile are mixing textures such as glass with natural stone, pebbles on shower floors and randomly mixing sizes of small tiles,” Donna continued.

Great, now where is that jackhammer? 

Briefly:  Congrats to the Gay Pride Business Network (see March 26 column at TheCoaster.net), celebrating its Third Anniversary on Tuesday, September 24.  Join the party at Moonstruck – 6 pm. 

And, Check out Lance and Debbie’s Wonder Bar (Wonder “Car” in the ads) in the background of the Dillard’s ads in September’s Vanity Fair and W Magazine.  Very fun.

One more – see you at the Deal Lake Regatta benefit this Saturday evening.  Boat parade and fundraisers begin at 5 pm.

Email:  DealLakeEvents@Yahoo.com.

Richard@TheBPlot.com

SWORD SWALLOWING!

When was the last time you had a night that you knew you would remember for a long time – and be happy about it?

If it’s been a while, a gift is waiting for you this Saturday at Asbury Lanes – the Yard Dogs.

“The Yard Dogs are a rounded and authentic traveling vaudeville show right out of the late 1800’s,” stated Jenn of Asbury Lanes.  “They are one of the only real-deal troops with everything a show like this should be – dancing, singing, sword-swallowing, fire-eating, belly-dancing, poetry and magic.”

The group is returning to Asbury Lanes for the third year and each year Asbury Lanes sells out.  Their show here is one of only three in the Northeast in 2008. 

“It’s the best show I have seen in my life and that is saying a lot,” Jenn stated.  “This is a one-of-a-kind experience.  People email me months in advance to find out when Yard Dogs is returning.”

Out of everything I have seen people do with and to their bodies at Howard Stern and Maury Povich – and a lot of it made me want to spoon my eyeballs out afterwards – I have never witnessed a person swallow a sword or eat fire. 

I hear after Tobias, the sword swallower, does his thing, he then swallows a Light Saber… and turns it on…and glows.  OMG.

I am totally into this.  I can’t wait for Saturday and I hope you join me. 

“The demographic for this show is all over the board,” stated Jenn.  “Everyone you can think of comes, including people you would never expect.”

The Yard Dogs have been stunning audiences since 2000, and spent the summer touring across the country in a bus.

“In an historical sense we are a family-run show,” stated Eddy Jo Cotton, founding member, Yard Dogs and author of “Hobo.”  “We endeavor to operate a values-based business that sustains itself on democracy and creative collaboration.   We are a naturally occurring phenomenon – an unsullied entertainment experience.”

Jenn and her team at Asbury Lanes work tirelessly to bring original entertainment to the area and help the City garner positive exposure. 

“Everything we do at Asbury Lanes, we try to create an edge to it,” continued Jenn.

Kids, don’t try this at home.

Yard Dogs at Asbury Lanes, Saturday the 20th.  18 and older.  Doors open at 8 pm, show at 10 pm.  $20 advance / $25 door.  AsburyLanes.com.

Briefly:  On last Tuesday’s Oprah Show, did you hear Celine Dion tell Oprah that it was good to see her in Nice, France this summer and Celine was happy Oprah “has someone special” – followed by an abrupt edit and then commercial?  There’s more to that story. 

And tomorrow, Friday the 19^th, is the fifth anniversary of what is known as “gay day” at Great Adventure.  Officially called Out @ Night, and produced by Mark Nelson, the park is open exclusively to GLBTI and their friends and family.  Last year more than 8,000 people attended.  6 pm start.  $60 at the gate.

And so you know, Gary and Charlie Maffei were married in Los Angeles on Labor Day weekend.  Cheers.

Richard@TheBPlot.com

DEAL-TERIORATING LAKE

I saw a few of the “Save Deal Lake” signs floating in Deal Lake this summer.  The irony was Debbie Downer worthy. 

I am beyond thrilled with the dialogue that has begun regarding the lack of action being taken to address the sorry state of the lake, thanks to Dane Hall’s recent column in the other weekly newspaper. 

“I wanted to throw some fireballs,” Dane told me recently.  “Where is the outrage?”

Deal Lake is sad.  And I love the lake.  I would love for Truman to be able to swim in the lake.  It could be the second most spectacular body of water in our area.

“I hear stories about when residents water-skied on the lake and gazed into it and saw painted turtles swimming,” stated Brian Mullins, interim president, Friends of Deal Lake.  “With help from the community, the lake can get back to its original grandeur.”

The moment property values of homes on the lake are negatively impacted – which will be very shortly – because no one wants to live near the lake, we will see outrage.  Action will be taken by the most lazy, passive and jaded.  But we can’t let it get to that.

“Deal Lake is a color green you can’t even find in an expanded box of crayons, stated Dane.  “If Deal Lake was a public park, and all the trees and grass were brown and dying, you can bet people would be pissed at the park’s commissioners.”

What’s especially egregious is the choice of inaction Asbury Park officials have taken.

“Asbury Park has not paid dues to the commission in two years despite having storm drains which flow directly into the lake,” stated Brian Mullins, interim president, Friends of Deal Lake.  “Asbury Park is holding the lake hostage.  They could move this along faster.”

Asbury Park politicos seem too busy alienating visitors with horrid parking meters. 

“When I asked Terry why the City has not paid, he basically started questioning everything (the Commission) was doing,” Brian continued.

There is some – some – positive news.  And it’s up to us to help.

“Senator Kean wants to appropriate $470,000 for Deal Lake,” stated Brian.  “He needs the community’s support.”

And Saturday, September 27, Wanamassa residents, Mark Fleming and Eileen Chapman, are organizing a decorated watercraft competition and parade and benefit for everyone to attend, to help fund aerating fountains for Deal Lake.

“The fountains will help prevent weed growth,” stated Brian.  “It’s great to see more people getting involved.  We need more.”

Please email Mark Fleming for more info about the boat parade:  DealLakeEvents@Yahoo.com.  Reach out to Senator Kean to express your support of our lake.  And become a friend: FriendsofDealLake.com. 

If you don’t help, don’t complain.  Lets make this happen.

Briefly:  See you at the legendary Trinity Church Thrift Sale preview party this Friday evening.  The ‘80’s themed event gives you first chance at everything.  Collector Kevin Kelly tells me he and others are selling items previously featured at flootie-tootie stores on Cookman Avenue for “pennies on the dollar.”  Party on: 7 pm to 9 pm.  Public sale: Saturday, 8 am to noon.

And cheers to Billy and Patsy Resnick for another fantastic annual Labor Day event.  The synchronized swimming performance by the Dishettes was fantastic.

“Bill and Patsy open their home and their hearts to so many,” stated Dishette, Gary Kilmer.  “To make them feel appreciated, the Dishettes’ performance is worth every hot-glued rhinestone.”

Richard@TheBPlot.com

PETIQUETTE PART AMORE

Love is lovely.

Part 2 (Part 1 at TheCoaster.net) of my conversation with fabulous petiquette – pet etiquette – expert and Febreeze Pet Products spokesperson, Charlotte Reed, we discussed love and other loving issues.

The B Plot:  What’s the protocol for someone looking for love on the Asbury Park dog beach? 

Charlotte:  Even if the guy or girl is cute, you want to make sure the pet is friendly.  You can usually tell a friendly dog the same way as a person.  Look for a dog’s tail to be wagging side to side.  If the tail is straight up and moving like a metronome, the dog is scared or angry. 

Take off your hat and sunglasses because dogs can’t see your face and they cant get a sense of the person.  And hang up your cell phone. 

Don’t be a doggie stereotyper.  Judge every dog individually.

TBP:  Great, so your advice worked, bubbly red hearts are popping above both people’s heads and now the couple wants to spend their first full weekend together.  What’s a couple to do with their dogs?

Charlotte:  Before the dogs even meet the couple should make sure their rules and expectations are in synch.  If there is no sleeping on the couch for one dog, it has to be for both dogs that weekend. 

Have the dogs meet on “neutral” ground outside the house prior to playing inside.  When inside, make sure puppy gates are on-hand.

TBP:  What do they do if one dog learned some bad tricks and can’t stop loving the pillow on the floor, while the couple is loving on the couch?

Charlotte:  Take the pillow away and give the dog a chew toy.  Always make sure there are lots of toys available to avoid that situation. 

TBP:  And the new “future ex” loves people who love the environment.  How does the other person make her pet carbon neutral?

Charlotte:  There are many options to green up a pet’s life.  Put a filter on the faucet or fridge instead of giving the pet bottles of water that take centuries to decompose.  Use ‘green’ collars and leashes.  Also, some pet beds are made with fabric that resists dirt and smells – cutting down on water and energy usage.  Always use recycled bags for waste.

TBP:  Thanks Charlotte.  Loving your book, Miss Fido Manners.  Can’t wait to get your thoughts on petiquette for the holidays in November. 

Briefly:  Asbury Park resident, Jack Bradshaw, holds one of the keys to your pet’s long-term health with a new line of human-grade dog and cat food. 

“Sierra Natural is made with the highest quality ingredients – including vitamins and trace minerals – to create a food that maximizes the health and well-being of your pet,” stated Jack.

This is the only food – and I have tried at least four “premium” brands in the past year – that has controlled Truman’s digestive issues.   

“Our industry-unique home delivery program provides exclusive food freshness, for about ten percent less than the most comparable food at a pet store,” Jack continued.

Dog-grade dog food is not good enough for your baby.  Call Jack for samples: 201.248.7742.

Richard@TheBPlot.com