DRAG IN THE NEW DECADE: HEDDA LETTUCE EXCLUSIVE

Drag queen of camp Hedda Lettuce returns to Asbury Lanes this month (Saturday, Jan. 23) for another installment of her sell-out film performance series this time featuring the original 1967 film “Valley of the Dolls.”

Since there is no better way to kick off a New Year than by chatting with a fabulously over-the-top drag queen, I called Hedda.

TBP: Cheers to 2010, my lady. How was your celebration?

Hedda: Sadly there was no special man waiting for me as the big ball dropped…. the one in Times Square. So I grabbed the closet person next to me. Luckily it was of a male gender and I am even more grateful that it was not a relative.

TEN VEUVE CLICQUOT-LIKE SIPS OF NEW YEAR’S 2010 GOSSIP: ESPECIALLY GOOD “YOU SAY WHO” RIGHT NOW!!!

After the last piece of confetti fell to the ground we discreetly made our departure and back to my place at the Chelsea Hotel. Of course he was tall, dark and handsome and better yet I did not even know his name. Names are for novices; us old-school gals know fully well that everything’s better when you don’t have a clue about the guy. Once names are exchanged then all sorts of annoying questions pop up, like: “What do you do for a living?”

I won’t get into any of the rest of the delicious details, Darling, a lady has to keep some things to herself…even a bearded lady for that matter.

TBP: Did you make a resolution for 2010?

Hedda: Yes, my dear… a few. One is to go to Madonna’s doctor and have my head removed and put on a new body as she seems to have done.

TBP: What was the best film of the decade?

Hedda: Oh, my stars…perhaps “Brokeback Mountain.” It goes to show you anything can happen anywhere behind closed doors.

TBP: Who do you want never to hear from again in the new decade?

Hedda: The entire cast of “The View.” I love them all but those ladies are out of hand and they have to go away.

And (drag queen) RuPaul is a mean, wicked old man.

TBP: Your return to Asbury Park is with “Valley of the Dolls.” Which of the film’s stars do you most relate to?

Hedda: All three of them, Darling, but mostly Sharon Tate because she always wanted a bigger bustline and had a trying mother that always needed money…just like me.

I looooooved the crowd in Asbury Park last summer, Darling. I am bringing everyone a reinvention of a different movie – I sing, I reenact key scenes. The show is going to have lots of the different and unexpected. I promise.

TBP: Who would you cast Brad Hurtado, the producer of your show here and a local resident, as, in a remake of “Dolls”?

Hedda: He would be Tony Polar – the guy in the wheelchair singing in the sanitarium.

TBP: Fabulous. Why does everyone love this film so much?

Hedda: The movie was “Sex in the City” before “Sex in the City.”

By the way, I wish Sara Jessica Parker (star of “Sex in the City”) would go away too, but she won’t. In 2010 I want her to finally realize she is a self-absorbed &%$#. I’ve been on the TV show…I know of what I speak.

AsburyParkEvents.com has more on Hedda’s Asbury Lanes show.  Tickets are $15 in advance and $20 at the door.  Last show sold out.  42 Below vodka specials all night.

Richard@TheBPlot.com

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