“YOU BETTER WATCH OUT”: COMIC MAGGIE CASSELLA JINGLES OUR BELLS

Naughty meets nicer when comics Lea Delaria and Maggie Cassella take the stage for “You Better Watch Out” a holiday variety show at the Stone Pony.

Both comics have performed during Road Trips past courtesy of Jill Potter’s Aww Mama productions however this is the first time the ladies take the stage together.

They are both fun and festive in a show of skits, sketches and colorful commentary – amplified by a roaring audience – that is sure to put a smile on the biggest Scrooge’s face.

Maggie and I chatted about the holidays last week.

TBP:  What are the holidays like for a fancy-pants comic who sold out the Stone Pony last summer?

Maggie:  Does trying with every fiber of my soul to ignore the holidays count as a holiday tradition?  I’m serious.  I actually hate the holidays.

As an Italian raised amongst the Jews, my guilt tells me I have too much and that there are too many families who don’t have enough.  The ex-lawyer in me sees the financial stress that will most likely lead to bankruptcy.

Anyone for egg nog?

TBP:  What was the worst holiday gift you ever received?

Maggie:  Did I mention I hate the holidays?  Any gift is going to suck because I don’t deserve it.

TBP:  Okay, but people will keep trying to make you happy, so you have to have a gift list this year.  What’s on it?

Maggie:  Peace on earth and goodwill towards people.  Oh, oh, and a milk steamer.  Someone please get me a damn milk steamer so I can steam my own soy milk and tell Starbucks to bite me.

TBP:  Give your straight fans some advice on gifting their gays.

Maggie:  Don’t bother – you can’t keep up.  Just go with the gift card.

TBP:  Is there a hot lesbian gift this year?

Maggie:  I don’t know.  Ask a hot lesbian.

TBP:  Well, what do you think of the super-popular $10 kid’s toy that I want desperately but can’t find anywhere, the Sing-A-Ma-Gig?  How fabulous is the orange one that sings “On top of Old Smokey”.

Maggie:   Oh my god.  Tell me I am not the first one to notice they have mouths like blow up dolls.  Oh, and the purple one is gay.

TBP:  What celebrity would you most like to find wrapped underneath your tree Christmas morning?

Maggie:  Sarah Palin… with the ribbon tied firmly around her neck and I shouldn’t have to explain why.

Anyone for egg nog?

“You Better Watch Out” at the Stone Pony, Saturday (Dec. 11), doors open at 8 pm.  Tickets $20 advance, $25 door at AwwMama.com and Il Pavone Gelateria on Cookman Avenue.

For TheBPlot’s first interview with Maggie, click here.

Richard@TheBPlot.com

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