BEST OF YOU SAY WHO 2010

For the “Best Of” You Say Who 2009, the year the column launched, click here.  For NEW You Say Who, click here.

– “BEST OF” YOU SAY WHO 2010 –

WHICH local politician spoke with TheBPlot about snow removal: “These were catastrophic conditions.  We would ask that the community understand that even New York City has had issues clearing their streets. 

“Yes, there were problems.  In the same breath that a resident would say this was the worst snowstorm they had ever seen, they will complain that they can’t drive down the street.  Don’t they understand the correlation between ‘worst snowstorm’ and the work it takes to clear the streets?  This was an extraordinary circumstance and complaining won’t make anything better.  Just something else for select people to complain about.  And some of them – working for cash and not paying their responsible share of taxes or skirting the law, for a variety of reasons, yet expect everything from government and somehow justifying it.  And if I hear one more time ‘Where is my tax money going?’ – how about going to a council meeting.  The budget is published every year.”   (12.29.10)

WHO revealed the wonderful light, fragrant and fruity house Pinot Grigio at ultra fancy-pants David Burke’s restaurant La Fromagerie in Rumson – served there at $8 a glass – is by northeast Italy’s Collegiata winery [photo right] and available at Spirits Liquors in Wanamassa for $7 a bottle?  It’s a really fab wine for the price, for the holidays.   (12.23.10)

SO BORED of the emails to TheBPlot about the local, sexy, married-with-children husband and his Manhunt listing for young gay encounters.  (12.29.10)

SPEAKING of encounters, this, missed man for man connection:  Berkley Bar -You two behind the bar are so nice & sweet!!!  I am wondering just how sweet yu are 🙂 Let me know if you’re interested – Thanks!  (12.29.10) 

WHO knew Costco is crossing its fingers Executive Members won’t use the annual ‘reward’ check the company sends?  “They send the check in an envelope that looks like a marketing collateral and reads on the outside of the envelope ‘important renewal information enclosed’,” said our warehouse retailer source.  “A huge percentage of members just discard the envelope considering it another monthly mailing when in actuality it has their rebate check.  They hope customers just forget about the rebate and they can collect the upgraded fee for the membership.

“The company actually has insurance relying that only a certain percentage – low percentage – will cash the rebates and if more customers do cash it, a policy kicks in so Costco doesn’t even wind up loosing out.”  Not the most exciting You Say Who, but interesting and I thought useful.  (12.16.10)

THERE may be no news in telling you the unofficial mayor was in town to film videos for “The Promise: The Darkness on the Edge of Town Story” billed as “an unprecedented look into Springsteen’s creative process during a defining moment in his career”.

However you may not have heard that, according to fans/extras chosen for the filming, Springsteen and his team “played four songs – each twice, using different camera angles.”  Another source at the taping in 30 degree temperatures interpreted the theme of the session in the Carousel Building as “old school, small club rock performance where the audience is dancing pretty much on top and around the band.”  (12.09.10)

WHICH beautiful area realtor done lost her mind recently at a charity resale store when she tried to redeem a more than three-year old store credit but was originally declined?  Purely because the organization values its position in the community did the head choose to accept the credit, after all.  “We have to look at it like we have thousands of happy community customers and we can’t let the one who doesn’t get the concept of a charity store distract us from our mission,” said our source.  (12.02.10)

WHICH area financial executive of a certain age shared the secret to her initial success?  “Decades ago I was a single mom with a deadbeat dad.  I spent my years after college married to a loser.  I couldn’t afford to take an entry-level job when I got divorced so I had a friend who had a friend who sold me her resume and (professional) portfolio for a few bags of cocaine.

“Back then, employers didn’t check references like they do today – especially for higher level positions.  So, I got hired at (huuuge financial company) and hired myself a loyal assistant who covered for me and I bluffed my way through for a while.  It’s all history now.  I know my business better than most people.  Today, I would fire someone who did what I did but for the time, I did what I had to do.”  (11.25.10)

WHO is the second person to have their credit card number stolen from the Exxon station on the Asbury Circle?  “I paid for gas by my Visa and months later noticed that every month there was a posting for $25 or under on the card.  I only went to that gas station once so I know someone there was doing that scam expecting people not to notice.”  Our source only reported the incident to his credit card company, so when TheBPlot asked the Exxon manager on duty about the issue, he replied, “What do you want me to do about it?”  (11.25.10)

WHICH outsider politico shared his observations about the lack of local political turn-out at a recent downtown event?  “When a powerful state senator comes to town, its protocol for someone from the local government show up for 20 minutes – it just shows acknowledgement and respect,” said our source.  “The mayor, council and decision makers in City Hall all were formally invited to attend the event and not one showed up.  Ironically, at least one found time when a Housewive of New York City came to town, but not for a 20-plus year state senator.

“What the Asbury community should know is that the lack of initiative exerted for a political guest like this says that Asbury Park continues to live in its own bubble, to its own detriment.  If a representative came to greet the senator at the event, down the line, when Asbury needed something, the mayor or someone else could have reached out for that extra lobbying help.  It takes a long time for snubs like this to be forgotten politically.”  (11.18.10)

WHICH realtor has Asbury Park history buffs scratching their heads, touting a 5,000 square foot house on the east side as the “original Bradley house… built in 1930”?  “James Bradley – who founded the city – died in 1921 after his 30-plus-year reign over Asbury beginning 1871,” said our real estate guy.  “I am sure [realtor] didn’t mean to mislead people but…  And the house is now a four or five family being sold ‘as is’ so you can imagine how much of the home’s original detail is there or salvageable.”  (11.11.10)

WHICH sexy twentysomething’ s recent stint in rehab was mandated by his employer after he arrived at work drunk?  (10.14.10

WHICH area boarding house’s residents were having a bar-b-que recently and enjoying the beautiful fall day until another resident on the second floor jumped out of a window screaming?  It turns out the smoke from the charcoal grill was blowing directly into his window and he awoke, bleary-eyed, thinking the building was on fire.  The bruised jumper dusted himself off, yelled a bit more and then joined the festivities.  “It is proof that God watches over drunks and children,” said our grill master source.  (10.14.10)

WHICH married area executive who looves the limelight has been calling an Asbury Lanes bartender “sometimes 10 times a day” according to our cell-phone loving source?  “The voicemails do not sound too professional if you know what I mean.” (10.07.10)

WHICH smart Ocean Grove business owner knows how to keep valuable employees?  She recently gifted her longest and most loyal employee with a black Labrador puppy.  Sweet.   (09.30.10)

WHO forgot to remove a beautiful and raunchy love letter from one of his books prior to selling it at a recent yard sale?  The one-page double-sided hand-written letter from another Asbury Park resident is so romantic and inspiring it gives a whole new insight into the yard sale entrepreneur.  (09.30.10)

WHO threw a one-night stand out of his house recently, telling the disappointed one “You just don’t listen”?  Use your imagination…  (09.30.10)

WHICH lady loving Ocean Grove resident’s foot fetish was revealed when she mistakenly drunk texted a male acquaintance Saturday night?  (09.23.10)

AT LEAST five businesses on the boardwalk rumored to not be renewing their leases.  “Madison Marquette thinks they have a line of businesses waiting to get on the boardwalk but once the (prospective) businesses look at the terms in the lease, many will run,” said our negotiator.  “Plans are to get another restaurant on the boardwalk and get someone to run it who does not know that the guys from (the newest boardwalk bar / lounge) spent a huge sum of money to get up and running and had a horrible summer.”  (09.23.10)

WHICH downtown area business owner’s publicity strategy includes no media coverage because he said he “doesn’t want just anyone and everyone coming into the place… I don’t want it to become a Brick Wall or Rafferty’s.”  (09.23.10)

WHERE is the original film projector – valued by some non-experts at $100,000 – headed after being driven away in back of a truck supposedly to a warehouse in town?  Sources tell TheBPlot that Asbury Partners / iStar was not aware all four projectors were still in the building.  (09.23.10)

WHO gave TheBPlot an exclusive tour of the most costly real estate in our area – 13 mansions, many oceanfront, in Deal?  All were spectacular in one way or another.  The attention to every type of detail – architectural and comfort – was brilliant.  Each backyard like a Ritz Carlton spa.

It seems the basic outdoor entertaining ‘musts’ for every house include: sand volleyball court (combed daily), sunken tennis court (vacuumed daily) with top of the line drinking fountain on the perimeter, outdoor ping-pong deck (strategically placed behind pool homes ensuring no guest hears the sound of the ping pong game), custom upholstered outdoor designer furniture (one chair costs $9,000), three poolside changing spaces (men, women, children) with marble bathrooms and wood lockers (preferably walnut), a formal garden with Boxwoods groomed into a unique design, children’s jungle gym’s painted to match the main house (one had a mini version of the main house tree house) and – of course – a walk-in pool.

A favorite ultra-luxe item was a fleet of umbrella bases made of huge slabs of petrified wood.

One fancy pants house you know Ocean Avenue featured a new million-dollar, 2,000 sq. foot pool house with a white glass custom dining table for 14.  The huuuuuge open air outdoor kitchen (the home’s third) with a 20 foot breakfast bar was made of white glass and white Corian and featured every imaginable top-of-the-line stainless appliance.

Between the thirteen homes there was about one million dollars worth of annual and exotic tropical plantings, including a sea of huge palm trees, imported from Florida and South Carolina nurseries all destined to die come the frost.  All this for homes used around 10 weeks every year.  FYI, every homeowner was gracious and welcoming.  (09.16.10)

WHICH Asbury Resident, initials T.A. emailed TheBPlot:  “What new have you heard any more from the marketing fund about Road Trip? How despicable is it that not one of them could say something about the weekend, good or not.  It is there job and to not say anything is cowardly and certainly not being part of the community. Not fair to the Brad or the community they are supposed to serve. In the end, it falls on them.  If everything went well in all eyes, their egos would have taken all the praise very well, no?”  Continuing the momentum representatives from the Asbury Park Marketing Fund declined to comment on the email.  (09.16.10)

WHICH good friend of Asbury Park had her four-carat pink diamond ring delivered by armored car from Tiffany?  (09.09.10)

WHICH soon-to-be Housewife of Monmouth County is getting married at the Berkeley Hotel Saturday [Sept. 11] with a Willy Wonka-themed evening event?  “I am not kidding when I tell you that she had her wedding planner hire little people to serve the hors du vors,” said our chocolate factory-loving source.  “She has no idea how inappropriate she is making her special day but I have to say I can’t wait to see it.”  (09.09.10)

WHICH Housewife of Monmouth County, who was recently gifted with a $125,000 Aston Martin in the hopes she would forget her husband’s public philandering with Client #9, is now separated and on a cougar-like prowl?  Out with her local girlfriends and their children one recent evening, our source said she was dressed in sexy top and ultra short skirt.  “My kids were with me and I was a little uncomfortable and embarrassed with what she was wearing,” said our fashion-forward source.  “I mean she looked great but not for a dinner with kids.”  (09.09.10)

WITH the midterm elections nine weeks away:  Which very active member of the AP Gay and Lesbian Homeowners Yahoo Group donated $1656 in 2008 to Barack Obama’s presidential campaign and which Road Trip organizer gave $250?  Which boardwalk business owner donated $500, restaurant empire partner donated $333, local massage therapist gave $250, textile designer donated $1,000 and which Wanamassa-residing realtor gave $300 to Hillary Clinton’s campaign?  Which locally–residing professor donated $600 in 2004 to the Democratic National Committee?  Which local controversial senator gave $1,300 and which mortgage broker gave $1250 to McCain’s presidential campaign?  Which longtime local developer donated $175 to the Republican National Committee?  Which councilman – the only Asbury Park politician found to directly financially support any candidate in the last two elections – gave $900 to Howard Dean in 2004?  Which man-of-the-cloth donated $200 to Howard Dean [2004]?

Which partner in a law firm that is contracted with Asbury Park donated $1,000 to Pallone for Congress and $1,000 to Adler for Congress?  Which Bradley Beach large restaurant owner donated $1,000 to Pallone for Congress?

Fan of Asbury Tony Bennett donated $4,600 to Hillary Clinton.  Martha Stewart donated $4,600 to Hillary.  Maury Povich donated $2,300 to Barack Obama and so did Tyra Banks.  Sirius Radio’s Robin Quivers gave $2,500 to the Democratic National Committee [2004].  Also in 2004, Jon Bon Jovi donated $250 to Dick Gephardt.  Donald Trump gave $25,000 to the Democratic National Senatorial Committee and $10,000 to the Republican National Senatorial Committee.

In the last presidential election residents in the 07712 zip code donated $108,454.  $19,872 came from Asbury Park specifically.  (09.09.10)

WHICH westside aging hottie had “something done” cosmetically to around his eyes, according to our very observant source?  (09.09.10)

WHICH three dancers were arrested last week – one while wearing his Superman underwear – for “lewdness” at a local ultra-popular bar that has been hosting 1500 people on weekend nights?  One dancer was also charged with steroid possession.

“People need to understand two things,” said our well-clothed source.  “The bar works with all authorities to make sure everything is done according to the law, in every way and that the dancers are imported from New York City where there are completely different laws for exotic dancers.  We do everything but take them in the back and flog them when we see they do something that’s not okay in New Jersey but okay in New York.”  (09.02.10)

WHICH twelve heroes will be featured in the new ArtsCAP 2011 calendar?  New for 2011 are two twists to the calendar, publishing in November.  Keep checking TheBPlot and The Coaster for all the scoop.  Search “firefighter calendar” here for the 2010 calendar details.  (09.02.10)

WHICH Deal Lake-side resident’s new homemade bulkhead is causing an issue with the EPA seemingly as big as the BP oil spill?  “Every year or so the EPA takes aerial photographs and compares them to previous years,” said our know-it-all source.  “When they see changes, like a bulkhead that didn’t have permits, they don’t like it.”  (09.02.10)

WHICH newly engaged Ocean Grove thirtysomething has no idea her fiancé bought her former BFF’s engagement ring and reset the stones for the new ring?  “If she finds out she will kill him,” said our bejeweled source.  Dude, you can’t build castles in the sand… even here.   (09.02.10)

WHICH local lady swears, swears, swears she saw what she believes to be a ghost while walking around Saint John’s Island, the island off of the Grand Avenue Bridge on Sunset Lake?

“I know you will think I am crazy but I was there in the morning… maybe 7 am and I swear I saw a young man in his 20’s, fully dressed in early 1900’s-type clothes, out of the corner of my eyes by the weeping willow tree,” said our spooked source.  “He would be there and then disappear.  This happened for probably a little less than five minutes.  The lake was still, there were no other people and I was not scared.”  Sounds like a job for Paranormal Books’ amazing Ghost Tour.   (09.02.10)

WHICH soon-to-be Housewife of Monmouth County returned home from her bridal shower, continued drinking and fell over her new KitchenAid mixer later in the evening – horribly breaking two bones in her ankle?  At the emergency room, the bride-to-be’s blood alcohol level was .28.  “The wedding is still on with three weeks to go,” said our sober source.  “She really wants to dance with her father but the doctor is making no promises.”  (08.26.10)

WHAT the world is learning now is that Kelsey Grammer has been cheating on his wife Camille Donatacci for a while but nobody knows about the gift that keeps on giving he got from one of the women he cheated with?

According to TheBPlot’s longtime source who is verrrry close to Camille’s New Jersey-based family, “Kelsey got herpes from one of the women he slept with and the marriage has been done for years – that’s why he moved to New York to do Broadway.”  Our source continued, “Their relationship was good for a long while and he really loved her family.  Kelsey and Camille both were beautiful disasters when they met.  Kelsey was a wealthy addict and Camille got him clean and clear.  Camille was another pretty girl scrounging around the other side of Hollywood and Kelsey spent hundreds of thousands of dollars buying up all these nasty sex photos of her to make sure they never leaked onto what was the brand new internet porn world in 1997.”  (08.26.10)

IF YOU plan to, hope to, expect to, endeavor to, aspire to or demand to marry in New Jersey or love a gay person who does, save the date for the national book launch party for “What’s Love Got to Do with It?” the book by Senators Raymond Lesniak and Loretta Weinberg at the Brickwall’s Annex, October 7.

“The senators wanted to launch their book in the city where it all began,” said a source.  “And we hope people come out to show their support for this non-partisan cause.  The nation will be watching.”  (08.26.10)

TJ Earle – scion of Earle Asphalt, Wall resident and reportedly confirmed cheater – bought his beautiful wife a $125,000 Aston Martin, the same car Eva Longoria’s character drove on “Desperate Housewives”.  “I asked him how he kept his marriage together and he said ‘I just bought her an Aston Martin’,” said our very faithful source.  (08.19.10)

AT WHICH bar was there a wine-throwing, throw-down between a female patron and male stripper?  “The woman threw her wine at the dancer and then he threw what looked like a small bucket of ice water at her,” said one witness.  “I have no idea what happened but it was hysterical unless you were standing next to either of them.”  (08.19.10)

WHO knows how to win friends and influence people?  Desly Getty, the Asbury Park English and Theatre teacher who last year was fined $23,000 after being caught on video [click here] “using her cell phone for a personal call while in a class to which she was assigned” according to a NJ Commissioner of Education report, making more friends around town by “pushing and pushing for extras” at a local store and then throwing money at a cashier and yelling “you will take the money any way I give it to you.”  (08.19.10)

WHICH Loch Arbor grande manse will not be winning any Best Neighbor in a Beachfront Community awards since they inflated an outdoor movie theatre screen in their side yard?  “They show movies every night from Thursday to Sunday and sometimes there is a matinee or two,” said one non-film buff neighbor laughing.  “They selfishly roll out big speakers and it feels like Jennifer Aniston is whining in my own house, not to mention the screaming kids watching the movies.”  (08.12.10)

WHICH Allenhurst mother-daughter team say they were “denied service at [Allenhurst restaurant] Back to Nature” because they were “not kosher”?  A man who identified himself as the manager told TheBPlot, “Impossible… they are idiots and I don’t get quoted” then hung up.  (08.12.10)

WHAT went on when the “Jersey Shore” crew invaded the bar Headliner two weekends ago?  “We can’t comment on what happened because they made us sign an agreement but they were here and had a greaaaat time,” said an expert cocktail-mixing source.

TheBPlot’s MTV source explained “We try and get the cast out of Seaside on the weekends because there are too many people around and they all are screaming for Snooki and The Situation which makes filming near impossible.   And I won’t tell you if we are bringing the cast to the Stone Pony because you can’t keep a secret if they were.”  Exclusive Snooki photos next week right here.  (08.12.10)

MISSED man for man connection Asbury Park on Sunset Avenue for a landscaper:  “saw u today working by sunset lake..u are incredibly handsome…”  (08.12.10)

MISSED man for man connection during Paranormal’s ghost tour:  “Saturday night Ghost tour in Asbury. I was checking you out the whole tour. We got to talk to each other at the end. You told me your from JC. I live in NNJ too. If your into guys give me a shout.”  (08.12.10)

WHO knew a cousin of “Jersey Shore” star Snooki – arrested in a “SLUT: just add alcohol” tank top last week in Seaside Heights [photo right] – is a local fan of TheBPlot?

The verified user comment from Cousin Kaitlyn, regarding “’Jersey Shore’ Comes to Asbury?” reads verbatim:   “I’m one of Snooki’s cousin and there ain’t even anyone who is gay in our family. And I am not mortified to be her cousin either but I am ashamed that someone would be a jerk-a$$ poser like that.”  Sounds like somebody needs a little RuPaul’s “Charm School”.  In two weeks, read about our meeting with Snooki… plus photos!!!  (08.05.10)

WHICH stylist at Chop Chop Bang Bang manages the rocker girl mane of Robyn Lane, midday DJ on WRAT?  (08.05.10)

WHICH realtor, representing a nice northeast side property, is about to be told by his listing’s homeowners that they will not be relisting the property because they now plan to “stay another year”?  The unrealistically priced home’s homeowners were approached by a prospective buyer directly and told the couple to wait until the listing expires in August to make their move.   (08.05.10)

WHICH Housewife of Monmouth County and antique fan actually said “You don’t know who I am” after being denied special treatment at a charity thrift store?  “We certainly knew she was self-centered but not to this level,” said a shopper.  (08.05.10)

SIMON Van Kampen to his wife, “Housewives of New York City” star Alex McCord during an Asbury Park photo shoot:  “They take the nipples out in post-production, dear.”  Love it!  (07.29.10)

WHICH politico contacted TheBPlot to talk about Road Trip 9:  “We wanted Sand Blast on the north side of Convention Hall but agreed to one more year on the Fifth Avenue Beach.  [Asbury Park Residents] complaining about Road Trip should think about it in a similar way to what the residents of Belmar deal with when the pro volleyball tournament comes to town for four days – also providing great visibility for the city.

“For the volleyball tournament six blocks of beach is blocked off for a private for-profit venture, there are parking issues and crowds.  Residents complain but businesses depend on the revenue and appreciate it.  The city’s revenue funds programs residents enjoy throughout the year and these same residents would complain if the programs were cut.  If they do not like Road Trip weekend maybe that is the weekend they should plan a road trip of their own in the future.”  (07.22.10)

WHICH area no-tell motel – most notorious for the December 2006 “Dollar Store Lingerie Murder” is a down-low other home of Road Trip Weekend?  Sources tell TheBPlot “the Crystal Meth Inn is where a lot of the really nasty orgies happen during Road Trip… like, the kind no one wants to host in their house… like the kind [two business owners / Asbury residents] go to.”  Err… yikes.  (07.15.10)

PATTI Scialfa, Springsteen’s wife, at Hot Mess for two hours getting her hair colored and blown-out by Tara the salon’s owner.  “Tara has been coloring Patti’s hair for years,” said our source.  “Someone else cuts her hair but Tara does her color and blow-outs regularly.”  (07.15.10)

THEBPLOT’s Richard’s inside scoop, only revealed here, about his call into the Howard Stern Show Monday about meeting Fred Norris’ wife Allison and her denial about questioning Richard:  “Allison and I hung out a number of times and she drilled me once about what happened in general and specifically with her husband at Scores.  She initiatied the casual friendship via a phonecall and the questioning was one time in a bigger relationship.  It has been a decade at least since I have seen Allison.  I did not bring this story up earlier on the show because I never use a friend for airtime.  Howard 100 News asked me to defend myself further as well as the ‘After the Show’ show and I declined both offers because it was never meant to be a big deal, just a fun story.  Allison and Fred are both first-class people and Allison knows the truth which there is zero reason to change.  If I want to say anything more, I will say it on TheBPlot.”  (07.15.10)

JOAN Rivers on the disaster called Mel Gibson: “His beautiful wife has three fake boobs – two of her own and Mel!”  (07.15.10)

WHICH Ocean Grove resident jokingly said her mother “uses her vicodin prescription as ID… she takes them so much”?  (07.08.10)

COMIC Sarah Silverman’s serious take on gay marriage during a recent interview: “Any straight person who considers getting married today should be asked if they would join a country club that does not allow black people.  Straights getting married is exactly like becoming a member at a private club that does not welcome everyone.”  (07.08.10)

IN A case of two tops don’t make a bottom, which attractive long-term northwest Asbury gay couple has been anonymously emailing acquaintances who they believe to be bottoms?  One email we have seen details that the two are both tops and one of them “really likes f*cking but (the other) wont do it.”  The email, from an ambiguous new AOL email address, asks if the acquaintance would be interested in bottoming for one person in the couple.  “I know (he) likes you but you have to understand that we love each other and are happy together in every other way,” continues the couple’s email.  A positive reply from the recipient is responded to with a “great… I will give you a call later.”  (07.01.10)

TWO unconfirmed sightings of photographer Annie Liebovitz and her three young children on the boardwalk, in the waterpark and on the beach Wednesday and Friday of last week.  (07.01.10)

WHICH bartender is selling bottles of fancy-pants imported wine he takes from his employer’s stock to patrons who have become friends?  (07.01.10)

FAMOUS 140 year old Woodlawn Cemetery in the Bronx is the resting place for “many” of the victims of the SS Morro Castle, including Jerry (aka Jerri) Ericksen [photo right] and Letty Lohr (aka Letty Mohr).  For more information or an interesting history lesson check WoodlawnCemetery.org.   (07.01.10)

SPRINGSTEEN spotted taking a peek at the Liza Minnelli show from the back foyer of the Paramount for about 25 minutes according to our source.  Following that, he walked the boards for a bit making one uber-fan’s year by taking a photo with her next to the Madam Marie box.  Another fan excitedly told TheBPlot after shaking Bruce’s hand, “Living here for years I never had a ‘Bruce moment’ and now I finally do.”  Just a first class rock star.  (06.24.10)

WHICH politico told TheBPlot that the approximately $50,000 cash given to an authority for “safe keeping” among other reasons, curiously turned into less than $15,000 when it was checked on two months later?  “No one knows where the money went or if they do they are not talking, but it is weird when you see [somebody] driving around in a slick new car,” said the source.  (06.24.10)

OVERHEARD at Watermark:  straight guy to another straight guy, “Damn, that girl’s got half the ocean in her boobs.”  Love it.  (06.24.10)

REPEATS of television show “Bridezilla” featuring The Breakers in Spring Lake airing on WE.  Despite husband Carlos being a chauvinist a**hole and Donna being sandpaper-on-a-chalkboard whiny – and calling her mother every five minutes – TheBPlot confirmed the Tanzolas are still married and living in Barnegat.  Fingers crossed that they will make a baby and bring another life into their horror reality show of a relationship.  (06.24.10)

A BRIEF word to honor Dane Hall, who passed away recently:  Always there with an encouraging and powerful word or on-the-spot suggestion for me, if it were not for him, TheBPlot as a column and a website would not exist.  He was a trailblazer, trendspotter, rallier and tireless promoter of Asbury Park besides being a gem of a soul.  He will be greatly missed.  Sending love and strength to Edward.  (06.24.10)

MADISON Marquette confirming that returning seasonal tenants saw increases in rent and percentage of profits for 2010, declining to go into specifics.  A source told TheBPlot monthly rents increased “around 100 percent” and the profit sharing “by a point or two” and that the organization was non-negotiable.  Another source detailed “(The executive) I spoke with told me to take or leave the deal because there were four other business owners waiting behind me for the space.”  (06.17.10)

WHICH Asbury Park-ers are backing away from a hot city issue because they are concerned part of their history that they have almost forgotten may come to light?  (06.17.10)

WHICH Bradley Beach-er told TheBPlot that years ago he used to put a “really great” vintage candy store sign in his front living room window when his new wacky weed crop was “ready to be sold”?  Regular customers would drive by and know business was open and the “proprietor’ was in when the sign was up.  (06.17.10)

OVERHEARD Pride weekend:  “There are four sides to every story… the two party’s sides, the truth… and the gay, more dramatic version of the story.  Ha.  (06.10.10)

TRUE story: Local mom receives a call from her excited and wonderful son, who has Down’s Syndrome, that he “caught a troll.” She tells him to stop watching the SyFy channel and hangs up. He calls again, even more excited that he “caught a troll!” Finally, she comes home to her twentysomething son at the door jumping around because he “caught a troll… he is upstairs.” Mom hears thumping upstairs in one of the bedrooms.

The mom goes upstairs and removes the chair and rope jamming one of the bedroom doors closed. Mom opens the door to find a very relieved Census worker who also happens to be a little person. No charges were filed and everyone genuinely laughed about the scene at the end of the day or I wouldn’t be writing this. (06.03.10)

NEW surveillance cameras installed in bar everywhere but the area known to attract horny strangers late-night. “The installer could not understand why we did not want camera’s there,” said TheBPlot’s source. “I don’t think they want a record of anything that happens.” (06.03.10)

WHICH fortysomething area husband spent three hours at Centerfolds, Sunday with a pal, not doing errands as his wife thought? (06.03.10)

WHICH group of Asbury Park and Red Bank merchants have been developing and circulating a hard-copy mock version of a local weekly because, one merchant says “we are sick of (the editor) claiming to be pro-Asbury but really being only pro-his own pocket book.”  Another merchant went on to explain that the group feels the weekly has an agenda to only promote “anyone or any business” that “advertises or brings advertising… If a great business does not advertise, they get no coverage… no matter how beneficial to the community… it all comes back to (the editor’s) agenda and wallet.”

TheBPlot received one of the sharp-penned, one-page mock issues where a fictitious Father Asissi writes the editor about the lack of coverage for the “many, many organizations that do good work here.”  The “editor” replies “if you advertised you would surely get the coverage you deserve… work up your advertising plan!”  Another “Update” from the “editor” details the criminal acts one of the weekly’s regularly gushed upon subjects was convicted of – “who really cares what was dug up about (the subject)… your publisher stands behind them… and as we say at the paper, innocent until the advertising stops.”  Ouch.  (05.27.10)

WHICH hot wife in a northwest Asbury straight couple was “Asking every decent looking single gay guy at the Tides to go home with them,” according to our source.  “Her sexy husband carried her off the porch” that sunny Sunday.  (05.27.10)

WHICH Ocean Grove resident has a part-time summer business grooming and pruning the exterior potted plants of 31 Deal homes for 10 weeks during the summer?  Some incredible work stories include the homeowners who only want exotic pink plants “because it best matches the house color”; the homeowners who spent – literally – $45,000 on perennial plants this summer; the homeowner who buys six huge (at least four feet in diameter) jade plants to surround the pool each summer, letting them die with the frost; the homeowners who had huge blocks of black marble carved into custom-sized planters.

WHICH Neptune Township lady, after spotting Senator Sean Kean in Frank’s Deli Tuesday, said “This is the first time he has been in here since that (marriage equality) vote of his… he should have waited longer.”  For 45 seconds the always welcoming atmosphere at Frank’s was tense and quiet as the Senator sat clueless to the energy shift with two New Jersey State Troopers in a rear booth.  “One couple picked up their plates and moved to a front booth when he sat down… if it were up to me, he would not be welcome here,” said an Asbury Park source.  Earlier, the tanned and bright-smiled Senator Kean was at a memorial in Ocean Grove honoring all police personnel killed in the line of duty.  (05.20.10)

WHICH Asbury Park construction source said, after learning earlier this week that builder Metro Homes (Esperanza) hired investment banker and advisor William Procida Inc., “Procida mentioned working outside the courts so bankruptcy seems to be an option on the table right now for Metro Homes.  Like every builder, their investors have probably had it with them.”  A Monmouth County official told TheBPlot, “They are looking for many and big private investors because they are having trouble getting money directly from banks for the Esperanza and their other huge undertaking, Trump Plaza II.  They bit off more than they could handle with these two high profile projects.  Metro Homes is passing the buck to Prodica to either find money or tell them to declare bankruptcy and walk away.  Donald Trump has the right to take his name off the building in Jersey City and may very well do so.”  (05.20.10)

WHICH recently former northeast Asbury Park resident took “three or four times his prescribed dose of Viagra” and as the warning label predicts, permanently lost one of his senses?   (05.13.10)

WHICH fancy-pants area resident is considering hiring Neil Sedaka or Carole King to perform at an upcoming private party at his home?  Neil Sedaka wants $50,000.  Carol King wants $80,000.  (05.13.10)

WHAT was Bon Jovi doing on Irving Place in New York City at 11 am last Thursday [photo below right]?  Looking a bit too skinny buttotally rock star sexy, he drove away in his own black Saturn Outlook SUV.  (05.13.10)

HOW much grossness does the Monmouth County Health Coordinator and the New Jersey Department of Health have to find to close Freedman’s Bakery’s flagship store in Belmar on Tuesday for the second time in six weeks?  Violations included “severe rodent infestation, food debris and spillage in the entire bakery area, food in the customer area not sufficiently protected from contamination.”  (05.06.10)

ELIOT Spitzer’s former hooker-friend spotted at the The Mill in Spring Lake Heights with girlfriends distracting many men from their MILF-like dates?  (05.06.10)

WHICH former Asbury Park business owner – who lost his business, in part, because of his nasty, escalating cocaine habit – seemed to still be in the throws of his addiction when he was spotted on the boardwalk recently with friends?  (05.06.10)

WHICH eastside resident and attorney’s name is being tossed around to replace Asbury Park’s current Municipal Court Judge when his latest three-year term ends?  The position requires two days of work with a salary of $52,000 plus overtime and benefits from the Public Employees Retirement System.  (04.29.10)

WHICH in the know snitch revealed Marilyn Schlossbach’s next venture, a restaurant at The Berkeley Hotel, will have a “Balthazar-restaurant type feel”?  The New York City restaurant’s website details that the menu features “bistro meals from breakfast to late-night” and with a style that is reminiscent of an “airy, modern French bistro”.  (04.29.10)

MORE restaurant news:  The Bond Street Bar & Grill will open in the “next six weeks.”  (04.29.10)

WHICH young and gorgeous Brick Wall waitress’ mother was caught climbing the fire escape to her daughter’s new Ocean Grove apartment to secretly learn what her daughter was doing?  (04.22.10)

WHICH recently licensed real estate broker and developer is rumored to have ignored Ocean Grove’s Historic Preservation Commission rules when his team installed fences and outdoor showers throughout a newly built cluster of single family homes?  (04.22.10)

WHICH straight Asbury Park thirtysomething couple told friends they role play characters from the Twilight film during sex?  (04.22.10)

WHICH former event guy in town called TheBPlot for an “exit interview” to discuss all the goings on and business owners in town with whom he had involvement over the past few years?   (04.22.10)

WHICH restaurant snitch revealed WNBC’s top investigative reporter Tim Minton was spotted celebrating with three friends at Asbury Grille on a recent, warm sunny Saturday evening?  Tim lives about thirty minutes north of Asbury Park. (04.22.10)

WHICH fortysomething partner in a long, long term man-couple relationship would be dog-gone crazed if he found out his partner spent more than $10,000 on their many dog’s accoutrements, grooming, training, toys and more in 2009?  (04.22.10)

WHICH eastside residing TheBPlot snitch said the former Circuit and Cruis’n location will be opening for the summer as a “fun and cheap local gay bar and place to hang out by the beach.”  (04.15.10)

WHICH newly listed Asbury Park property unwittingly featured the owner’s wacky weed paraphernalia in the living room photo?  (04.15.10)

SPEAKING of turning other’s trash into your treasure, which Ocean Grove lady purchased a 6” by 8” framed painting at Collingswood five years ago for “about $20” hung it above her stove, and last year discovered other work by the artist during a vacation in Savannah, GA.  The painting is “actually worth about $30,000” TheBPlot’s source said… and is no longer hanging above her stove.  (04.15.10)

WHO knew that in one day TheBPlot cut through four months of corporate red tape to help the Asbury Park Little League get the $700 donation they were waiting for from Pilgrim Productions, producers of “Ghost Hunters” on the SyFy network?  Despite a handshake agreement to donate the location fee – producers taped a segment at the Crane House last Fall – the check was tied up in corporate paperwork and rules.  Today, the issue is a ghost of corporate silliness past.  (04.15.10)

WHICH Housewife of Monmouth County takes weekend trips every month to Florida from the Atlantic City airport to visit with her Dr. Feelgood – returning home with a modern-day “Valley of the Dolls” potpourri of meds?  (04.08.10)

WHICH absolutely lovely part-time area man couple has Tipper Gore to thank for their introduction.  One worked with Tipper in Washington DC and the other worked with her in New York City.  (04.08.10)

WHICH fortysomething trust fund baby local was willed the rights to his grandmother’s significant assets “for life” – meaning his partner would not have access to the money if Trust Fund Guy died first?  (04.08.10)

WHICH local businessman’s wife – usually demure – lost her mind on a fur coat wearing visitor at a Asbury Park watering hole on one of those cold days a month or so ago?  (04.08.10)

WHICH cutie-patootie twentysomething Asbury renter-girl has such a crush on a UPS delivery guy (tall, slender, late-twentysomething, clean-cut, light brown hair), her mom has spent hundreds of dollars over the past few months shipping mostly empty boxes to her daughter in the hopes that some day, cutie-patootie could get a extra-special package drop-off from UPS.  Start with dinner, sweets.  (04.01.10)

WHICH multi-talented African American film star – who won an Oscar in the 21st Century for playing a character who had four out of five senses – was outed by Howard Stern this week?  The actor’s sexuality is almost as well-known in the entertainment industry as Ricky Martin.  (04.01.10)

IN case you were wondering, singer Michael Buble – who is getting better looking with age – has been gifted with more than a voice according to a sexy lady friend who knows. [This, before he got engaged].  (03.25.10)

WHICH bungalow-style home will be the stage for the “Battle of the Bottoms” – two newly single bottoms sniffing each other out like feral cats? (03.18.10)

WHICH creative, generous and handsome Asbury Park real estate mogul and broker was spotted at Citrico’s restaurant holding hands with a gorgeous brunette possibly half his age? (03.18.10)

WHICH area city’s council holds a pre-meeting at one of the member’s home to discuss votes the evening before the public meeting? (03.18.10)

THE most shoplifted item at Wanamassa Liquors? Grey Goose vodka. (03.18.10)

WHICH area McMansion-owning couple advertises and hosts monthly swingers parties, charging $25 to $100 per person.  The fee varies depending on stringent criteria which includes age of the couple, how attractive they are and what the couple is interested in sexually.  “Big discount if the wife will have sex with other women,” said our local snitch.   (03.11.10)

WHICH new northwest Asbury roommate situation has one of the mates dreaming of the other one in his bed when he returns from work “in his underwear smiling and smoking a cigarette.” (03.11.10)

WHICH Asbury Park gaggle of gays said they were headed to the Belmar St. Patrick’s Day parade to check out “sham-cocks?” (03.11.10)

FOR Howard Stern fans, TheBPlot’s prediction regarding his contract negotiations: Howard and team will resign shortly with an announcement this summer. Howard will be live three days a week and “Best Of” will air Thursday and Friday. Howard’s “Best Of” series gets better ratings – and has gotten better ratings – for years so Sirus will be happy to accommodate Howard’s request to be “live” less. Focus groups detail that they like Howard’s “Best Of” because every segment is a winner, as opposed to sometimes have to sit through rambling conversation or filler. You read it here first. (03.11.10)

WHICH sanitation man is considering selling veeeerrrry racy photos he found while doing his job – and recently gave TheBPlot an exclusive peek – of a recognizable semi-famous or infamous greater-area local (initials AD)? (03.04.10)

ON SiriusXM’s “Howard Stern Show”: Martha Stewart revealed she owns a $1200 vibrator. What in the ba-jesus makes a vibrator worth $1200, ladies??!?! (03.04.10)

WHICH hot and very straight guy was lovingly teasing his gays when he said, “I’m not a homo but I play one on the weekends in Asbury?” (03.04.10)

RATING TheBPlot’s Richard V.’s interview last week on “The Intern Show” which of Howard’s sidekicks said he “Did excellent, really great on the show but just okay (in the hall) after the show.” Always have to be “on” at that studio. (03.04.10)

WHY does the City of Neptune have an “approved” list of vendors for residents? “The state has said that municipalities should not recommend tradespeople of any kind because it’s a conflict of interest,” said TheBPlot’s snitch who holds a copy of the document. Are shenanigans going on in Neptune?

WHICH realtor was just badly bit by a froofy Ocean Grove dog while showing a property? (02.25.10)

OVERHEARD at Live with Regis and Kelly Wednesday morning. A publicist screaming into a cell phone backstage: “Hate you… die… your mother’s a terrorist! Wait… you are breaking up… f*ck… I’ll call you back…” Freaking loony entertainment PR chicks. (02.25.10)

WHICH Cookman Avenue business owner leaves town to feed her addiction – to Starbucks coffee – despite America’s Cup being almost next door? (02.18.10)

WHICH east-side residing couple hosted a fancy-pants dinner party to commemorate a milestone in their relationship were bummed two of their east-side guests arrived dressed like “audience members from the Price is Right”? (02.18.10)

WHICH realtor has turned down two offers to rent one of her empty listings without asking the homeowners – despite knowing the urgent financial situation her clients are in? “I want to sell it, not rent it,” she said. UG. (02.18.10)

WHICH northeast gay reported his favorite moment outside the stadium at Superbowl XLIV: “It was Saturday night and we were headed to dinner in Southbeach. We see two drag queens walk over to two anti-gay protesters who were waving signs. One of the drag queens grabs a sign and smacks each of the protestors with it and walks away. It was fantastic. The crowd roared.” (02.18.10)

OVERHEARD: Martha Stewart calling Fox News’ Neil Cavuto an “ass” and “so impolite” – according to TheBPlot’s snitch – because he “filibustered (her)” during their interview Wednesday afternoon (Feb. 17). “Nobody on her staff has the balls to tell her she talks over her guests all the time on her own show,” said my gay source.  (02.18.10)

WHICH local wood stove…err…fireplace and chimney company’s owners have been called “criminals” by three customers who wanted their chimneys cleaned and were presented with proposals for “important” $1,200 chimney linings. As the cleaners presented a customer images of the interior of his 80 year-old chimney the cleaner said “look, all the mortar is gone from the (original) terra cotta liner…a fire could start in the chimney…you don’t want to play with fire do you?” The smart customer took the images and showed them to the town’s fire inspector who said, “It’s bulls*it – old chimneys never had mortar in between the terra cotta liner…this chimney is fine.” Buyers beware. A source says, “Chimney liners are one of the biggest money makers for chimney cleaning companies. The company that sells the extendable cameras have tutorials on how to up-sell homeowners on the liners.” (02.11.10)

WHICH local lady event planner is rumored to be working on booking the Indigo Girls to perform in town this summer? (02.11.10)

THEBPLOT’s favorite daytime talk show promo for February Sweeps: “A live prostate exam…tomorrow on the Dr. Oz show.” Yikes! (02.11.10)

WHICH Allenhurst “lady of a certain age” flipped the f*ck out on a policeman at the culinary school in Asbury Park when he politely explained to her and her friends that they could not bring in the super-sized bottle of wine they were carrying to accompany their dinner (school property = no alcohol.)? (02.04.10)

WHICH Manasquan Housewife of Monmouth County and her 7 year-old daughter painted the toenails of her ultra-masculine and hunky 6 foot, 230 pound husband, “purple and pink with accent stickers?” Afterwards, they all “went to a party in Wall.” If the other straight guys only knew. (02.04.10)

WHICH residents of Bradley Beach were featured on DIY Network’s “Renovation Realities” last year? The husband was taped boasting a number of times that he “won’t get a permit to replace (their) old deck because it will take too long.” He also brags that “when the town told me to paint my house, I painted it Pepto Bismol pink and Mylanta green” because “the town did not ask nicely.” The wife is seen on the show helping her husband build the deck (Martin Luther King Day Weeked 2009) in the 20 degree weather while toting their months-old baby. What few know is that Bradley Beach sent them a “thank you” note in the form of a $250 fine. (01.28.10)

WHICH Asbury Park chick has had sex with so many gay guys, she says “Abercrombie and Fitch should take an ad out over my p***y?” (01.28.10)

WHICH large sandy summer event recently received approval for 2010 after much back and forth? The organizer wanted the event to remain on the Fifth Avenue beach. Others wanted the event to move to the north side of Convention Hall. This year, the organizer won the discussion. (01.28.10)

WHICH local couple (the same ones who partially paid for their home renovation by using it as a set for amateur porn) is advertising: “Looking for Girls. Adult Actresses. How would you like to: TRAVEL FOR FREE, HAVE CONTROL OF WHAT YOU DO, MAKE HUNDEREDS OF DOLLARS IN ONE DAY, HAVE FUN, MEET NEW PEOPLE, BE FAMOUS, HAVE YOUR IDENITY SAFE.” The ad continues on, “PAY VARIES…If you think you would like to know more give us a call.” (01.28.10)

WHICH fiftysomething year-old realtor reminisced about the “good old days of quaaludes” and the time he “fell asleep on the landing of a stranger’s stairwell” with a group of younger and young gay realtors? (01.28.10)

OVERHEARD: “Soft-swap” – when only one person in a couple actually has sex with another couple at a swinger’s party, per a Housewife of Monmouth County. (01.28.10)

WHICH especially discreet couple in town is telling friends the new diamond and ruby ring she is blinding people with was his mother’s ring? We can tell you the stunning piece was an impulse buy during a holiday weekend trip to New York City. (01.21.10)

WHICH lesbian was at a swinger’s party in Tinton Falls and was about to perform a sex act with another, younger curly haired surfer-type blonde girl when a third yelled, “You can’t do that without her husband in the room”? (01.21.10)

WHICH politico told me, “The gay community that’s upset with Senator Kean for not voting for the marriage bill should be angry at themselves, too. The gay community and its friends don’t vote. They are not a strong constituency in this area for all their visibility. ‘Soccer’ and ‘NASCAR’ families in Wall are a more influential constituency…they donate to campaigns and vote.” Something to think about. (01.14.10)

HOUSEWIVES OF MONMOUTH COUNTY: Vernacular used frequently – “drop and shop,” dropping young kids at daycare to spend the day shopping with other housewives and “day-drinking,” housewives imbibing while kids are occupied either at school or playing at home. (01.14.10)

WHICH northeast side resident and his father were thrown out of a well-known bakery after mocking the “Happy Birthday Jesus” cake on display? Another note, Kathie Lee Gifford brings out a birthday cake for Jesus and sings happy birthday each Christmas. (01.07.10)

WHICH part-time Asbury Park gay guy rang in 2010 by standing near uber-hottie Hugh Jackman…and his wife and kids…at a penthouse party on West 17th Street in the former New York City Archives building – now ultra fancy pants condos? My snitch reported Hugh (who’s name for his d*ck is ‘James Roger’) drank seltzer and pomegranate juice all night while unknowingly hypnotizing all the gay men with his hotness and charm. Why does he have to be soooooo hot? (01.07.10)

SPEAKING of drag queens, which local dragster told a friend New Year’s morning that one of her goals for 2010 is to be the first drag queen on “The Biggest Loser?” (01.07.10)

Richard@TheBPlot.com

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